This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
