Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
