his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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