Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
