Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
