I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
