My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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