She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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