Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
