just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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