either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
