Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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