found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
