Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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