Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
that's an acceptable place to lick
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
