i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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