Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
