he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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