Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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