apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize