I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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