we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize