I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
