erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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