Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
