He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
