i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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