I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
