Well apparently he's into motor boating.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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