there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
