Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
