He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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