Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
