If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
