So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize