alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
