My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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