Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
