All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
