You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
