yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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