its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
