Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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