and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
