you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
