So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
