Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
