I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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