i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
