How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Vodka?
Forever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
