I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
