a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
