Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
