I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i've created a new STD.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Will exercising make me less horny?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
