How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
