you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize