: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
