We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
