): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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