Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
