Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize