Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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