whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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